Ask God for help. The aise you receive from him may not be direst, but if you are not blind you will see it. His love is powerdull and all encompassing.
You have not lost your soul, you are just looking for answers so don’t be shy about asking. God love your heart, we love ya (even the meanies). Hang in there and He will give you the strength you need.
I meant His love is powerfull! Geez! That tylenol with codiene is really strong!! Excuse the spelling but the concern is there.
I will pray to HIM and thank you again.