A Farmer was looking for a new rooster because he thought the one he had was getting too old. Other farmers brought young roosters to him to try out.
Old roosters are smarter than young ones, though.
When new roosters showed up the old one would tell the new one he didn’t want to wind up in the soup pot. So he said to the younger ones we will race around the house and when we got to the front porch where the farmer was sitting he should lag back and let the old rooster stay about two yards ahead.
So they raced and the younger rooster lagged back.
The farmer saw this and grabbed his shotgun and shot the young rooster.
He turned to his neighbor and exclaimed “ That is the third queer rooster I’ve shot this week!”
An farmer was looking to get some new roosters for his hens.
He went to the feed and tack to inquire on roosters. The attendant at the feed store said, “All you need is Brewster, the Rooster, he’ll do the work of 10 roosters.
The farmer was skeptical, but he bought Brewster and brought him home. The minute he let Brewster out of the truck, he tore through the hen house. Feathers went everywhere. The farmer shook his head and thought, maybe the feed store guy was right.
A week later, Brewster was still at it, non stop 24 hours a day. It got so bad, the neighbors were complaining their live stock were being molested.
A few days later, the farmer noticed Brewster flopping around in in circles in the front of the property. It appeared he couldn’t get up. The farmer noticed a band of buzzards circling over Brewster.
The farmer went out to Brewster, leaned down and said, “I told you boy, all that whoring around would kill you”.
Brewster peaked out of one of his eyes and said, “Shhh they are about to land”.
A salesman is pressing a farmer about the finer points of his new combine when he suddenly notices one of the roosters in the farmer’s yard.
The rooster is wearing a shirt, and pants with suspenders. It’s all he can do to not gasp.
“What the hell is that all about?” he asks the farmer.
“A year or two ago, we had a fire in the chicken coop,” the farmer explains. “That rooster stayed in there until all the hens could get out, and he ended up with all his feathers burned off. Well, the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm.”
“That’s amazing,” the salesman said. “But you have to admit, it looks kinda funny.”
“That ain’t nothin’,” the farmer says. “You should see him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”