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A panhandler, a young man, stood at an intersection where I would often be stopped at the light. I would give him a dollar now and again. Then one day I see him and he had one whole side of his face tattooed with a big black design like Kiss I think.

I never gave him another dollar.

Then I saw him there only now he is sitting in a wheelchair and he has had one foot amputated. I saw him one more time and he looked deathly ill, no doubt he was and I have never seen him again. Wasted life, very sad.

A panhandler, a young man, stood at an intersection where I would often be stopped at the light. I would give him a dollar now and again. Then one day I see him and he had one whole side of his face tattooed with a big black design like Kiss I think.

I never gave him another dollar.

So what's your point? That you stopped giving the young man a buck because you saw he had a tattoo??? How superficial! And later you saw him in a wheelchair apparently at death's door, and still couldn't bring yourself to toss him some change - purely out of sympathy? Are you suggesting there is something commendable about your turning a blind eye to that young man? Helping him out in some way - that's something to talk about. But proudly relating that you refused to give him another buck? How shallow.

Don't mean to sound so harsh, but the point is that we shouldn't give anything to anyone with the expectation that they will then conform to our expectations. We should give freely. In the case of the young man with the tattoo, do you really think that the occasional buck you gave him was actually expected to make a difference in his life? And then you turned sour when he began to go downhill. How dare he - especially after those couple of bucks you gave him!

Did you ever consider that the tokens of money you gave him may have given him a bit of hope that maybe someone valued him? Maybe that day he was a little less than totally depressed and hopeless. When I give money to homeless people, I give it to show them in some small way that involves almost no sacrifice on my part that I value them as a human being. I don't expect that with the token I give them that they will then pull themselves up by their bootstraps. It is rather an affirmation of them as persons, of saying: "Here is a little something, my friend. I hope you have a better day today."