As someone who lived in the NY suburbs and Boston, I can tell you that Bostonians are far more rude than NYers could ever hope to be. NYers don’t make eye contact with strangers, and can act threatened when you do. During the Atlanta Games, when they spelled out, “How y’all doin?” I joked that NYers would say “What the f*** you lookin’ at?”... and mean the same thing. But you quickly adapt to such gruffness, and when you have the opportunity to make proper eye contact, NYers can be very friendly.
But in Boston, it’s not gruffness; it’s a bizarre level of misanthropy and hatred of strangers. I remember pausing for a second to find a subway token in Boston, and being shoved by a little old lady, must’ve been 90 years old: “GET THE F*** OUT OF MY WAY, YOU G**-D*MNED DIRTBAG!!!!” I remember going to a CHURCH group, being the newcomer, and watching in amazement the way chat circles just close up when someone new comes by. And the plainly bizarre behavior of simply lying whenever a stranger asks for directions. In residential neighborhoods, they won’t even have street signs, because if you belong in that neighborhood, you know damned well what the street’s name is. And most Bostonians would pay $100 to get the chance to rip you off a dollar.
After a while, it stops seeming odd that “wicked” is the local dialect’s word for everything from “pleasurable,” to “astounding” to “very.”
That was my grandmother, and she told me you deserved it.
I know that people are going to think you're exaggerating about Boston, but that happens to be true, especially in the near suburbs around the city. My wife (who's from the Midwest) and I still joke about it from time to time, although we moved 60 miles north from Boston into NH (where people are a bit warmer - though not much by Midwest or Southern standards) many years ago.
In terms of general surliness, my time living in Boston taught me that it varied greatly between groups and neighborhoods. Because of the large number of colleges in the area, people around Kenmore Square (for example) tend to be friendlier (and frequently are non-natives). Beacon Hill types (Jawwn Kerry's crowd) are not often abrasive, but can be distant and stand-offish. The adjacent North End still has a lot of very down-to-earth and friendly older people (Italian, largely). The South End is Gay Central - not mean, but a bit creepy. Much of Cambridge is like the Third World; dirty, smelly and full of commies.
Southie and Charlestown are more like what you describe: insular, highly suspicious of outsiders, with the working-class Irish predominant. The funny thing is, once you are "accepted" by one or more of them, it's almost as if they've vouched for you ("Ahhh, I checked'm out, Tawmmy, an' he's okay."). Only then you can walk into a bar and not draw hostile glares. And that I did frequently as a young man.
NY well its NY, but when asked a question most were gracious enough to try to help. Only problem I encountered, none of them knew out to get out of their own burrough, let alone NYC. They could not tell you how to get on the Interstate. But they were nice about being ignorant.
Crossed over into N.C., and we stopped for coffee at a quick stop. First thing I heards was, "How Ya'll Doing", OH MY we are home, those sweet words, and you know it did not take any energy for her to be sweet, takes a lot to be RUDE.