[CurlyDave]

It was captured once in Old Testament times and the enemies of Israel gave it back after a few days - bad things tend to happen to those who abuse it.

Start in 1 Samuel, Chapter 4 and read the story for yourself.

If you have the American Standard Version, you will discover that the story ends with God smiting the possessors' of the ark with all sorts of plagues, culminating with a plague of hemorrhoids (in their dark and secret places) which led to them offering to give it back.

Being no fools, the Israelites said "How much will you pay us to take it back?" and a price was eventually established.

Other versions try to disguise the exact name of the ailment, but it is clearly hemorrhoids.

[Winstons Julia]

Yikes. What could be worse? And back then...no Preparation H.

[montyspython]

In essence, keeping the Ark is a real pain in the ass.