I began to hallucinate! I suddenly found myself... 
expecting--
And Leela... 
confirmed it--
But, who? Who could have... 
knocked me up?
Was it one of those two "Futurama" groupies... 
I went for drinks with last night?
Or that polebot... 
I hooked up with later?
Perhaps we need some narration here as the question of who... 
is paramount to our inquiring minds.
You don't mind this interruption... 
do you, Bender?
Naw, I got some... 
knitting to do anyway. Carry on, Orson.
Fine, but watch it... so you don't drop a stitch.
Now, Bender's interdimensional... 
squeezes... first come to mind as the culprits--
But we cannot rule out... his sports... 
groupies
Nor can we rule out... 
all the fembots... he fools around with
and there are... all the Comic-Con gals... 
he toys with--
Or those newsbabes... 
Bender cannot... seem to leave alone.
And most disturbing of all... are those Planet of the Knits... 
skanks!
And the possible offsprings... gives me major willies:
... 
... 
... 
... 
.. Major willies... indeed!
You finished, Orson? I'm tired... of knitting.
If you insist, but we... need to know, who knocked you up?
Well, Orson, I was still hallucinating I was at the movie with Fry when... 
my popcorn broke--
I was so shocked, then-- Wham! Bam! I woke up... 
with the worse hangover!
I realized I had been dreaming about being knocked up and after a dozen or so beers... 
I'm ready to go!
So, no one... is knocked up?
Oh, yeah, I did knock up... 
Jessica, but everyone expected that when I comforted her after her breakup with Tony.
End the narration! End the narration! We want... 
Bender's NFL Picks! We want Bender's NFL PIcks!
As you wish, sportfans and without further adue... our sorted little tale continues with Bender's picks--
Even with my Boys' loss, I was 7 and 5 for week 8, boys and girls... 
That makes me 63 - 40 for the season and my Week 9 picks are as follows:
Miami 10 at Kansas City 28 - The Phins are all lined up... 
for my Old Dalas Texans
Atlanta 34 at Indianapolis 17 - Vick's Old Pack goes through those poor Paytonless Colts... 
like crap through a goose
Tampa Bay 24 at New Orleans 21 - Get out thos bags, Aint's Fans... 
they lost two times in a row
NY Jets 27 at Buffalo 31 - Even the site of sexy feet... 
won't brace up Ryan's Jersey Jets after the Bills finish with them
Cleveland 17 at Houston 35 - Allegra's Texicans give Colt a poor Welcome... 
Back to the Lone Star State party
San Francisco 27 at Washington 13 - Yet Allegra's Old Deadskins... 
are back to normal
Cincinnati 21 at Tennessee 10 - And Allegra's Old Earlers find Andy Dalton's Horned Tigers... 
way more than a handfull
Denver 6 at Oakland 28 - Sadly, the Raiders Occupy... 
more than Oakland
NY Giants 27 at New England 34 - Brady and Company turn them Jersey Jints more colors... 
than the Fall Leaves in New England
St. Louis 17 at Arizona 14 - Those Fighting Saint Louie Yews... 
win two in a row
Green Bay 27 at San Diego 28 - Well, big, it had to end sometime... 
and please shave your back!
Baltimore 14 at Pittsburgh 13 - Mad Dog Lewis chews up everything but... 
Ben's Old Lady
Chicago 10 at Philadelphia 24 - Da Bears ring Vick's bells... 
but it is not enough
The bye-bye boys this week are Detroit, the Viqueens, Carolina and Jacksonville
Finally, Seattle 17 at Dallas 38 - My Boys get back in the saddle and whip those Seahags like a redheaded... 
stepchild!
And with that, I'll see y'all... 
later. Write if you get work!
Oh, almost forgot, big asked me to post his wrong picks... 
so, here they are for what they are worth:
The Bisons will shoot down the Jests
Bender’s Cowpies will pluck the Seahags
Allegra’s Texians will slide by the Clowns
The Dirty Birds will peck the Folds
The Thiefs will rob the Guppies
Tha Ain’ts will make the Pirates walk the plank
The Deadskins will surprise the 69ers
The Traitors will kick the Mules
The Bungles will cut the Tighthens down to size
The Buzzards will shear the Lambs
My Patriots will swat the Gnats
My Packers will fly by the Charredburgers
The Cravings will drill the Roethlisburgers
The Bagels will boil the Bearlies
Gadzooks, my Boys would never pluck a Seahag... 
a little light petting maybe, but plucking? Never!
it's starting to look like you might be right