To be fair, aristocrats never believed "the rules" applied to them. During the Middle Ages and early modern period, they pretty much didn't. The French were astounded when in 1760 the British actually hanged a peer for murder of a commoner. This would never have happened in France. (Unless the peer had a whole bunch of powerful enemies.)
The Victorian period was unique in that the traditional values of the middle classes moved down into the lower classes and up into the upper classes. However, many of the latter didn't internalize them, they just felt they had to pretend to.
Today, of course, those same values are derided as old-fashioned and are under assault from both the upper and lower classes. So far, this pincer attack is winning.
A very interesting way to put it - thanks!