Actual 911 call:
Caller: “My friend just got mauled by a bear!”
911: “Is he breathing?”
Caller: “No, I don’t think so - I think he’s dead!”
911: “Okay. Calm down. First make sure that he’s dead or not.”
Caller: “Okay - just a minute.” (Shot heard in background). “Okay, yes he’s dead. Now what?”
LOL