Bla-Bla-- Yadda-Yadda-Yadda... 
Yadda-Yadda--
Did I mention I killed... 
Osama?
Bla-Bla-Bla... 
Bla-Bla--
Yadda-Yadda-Tadda... 
Yadda-Yadda--
By the way, I did kill... 
Osama with my bare hands!
Yadda-Bla-Bla... 
Bla-Yadda--
Looks like Obama's speech went over big... 
at the NFL Opening Day Party.
Pam Oliver managed to drink herself... 
white and almost blond.
Well, The Obamathon aside, it is... 
that time of year again, campers:
Euuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeee! Are these... 
in this issue of Maxium?
Sorry, Lindsay... 
it is Leela's turn. Maybe next issue if you make bail.
Thursday night at Lambeau, I see... 
big's Packers having a scare--
The Pack has to show just about everything in the playbook and more... 
during the game--
Da Ain'ts come close, even causing speculation of a return... 
to olden days--
But big's new lift & separate cheesebra looks... 
to be the difference--
New Orleans 26 at Green Bay 27 - The Pack manages to keep from starting 0 & 1 this season!
Atlanta 27 at Chicago 13 - Sunday finds that even with Ms. Big O showing how shovel ready... 
Da Bears' Defense is, the dogs at Vick's old pound get Da Obama Bears' goat!
Cincinnati 7 at Cleveland 28 - cleveland gop's Real McCoy Browns make Begal Bone soup to win gagging... 
eh, bragging rights in Ohio.
Buffalo 3 at Kansas City 24 - My Old Dallas Texans get into the spirit of their Chiefs' uniforms and send the Buffaloes home minus hide, hair and bone.
Yet some fans do manage to escape... 
with some things intact!
Philadelphia 17 at St. Louis 31 - Vick's Dream Pack cannot get past the firehydron as them Fighting Yews... 
from Saint Louie give the Iggles a nightmare.
Detroit 24 at Tampa Bay 9 - Detroit's Loins don't even break a sweat in their athletic supporters as they tear Tamp Bay a new one.
Tennessee 17 at Jacksonville 14 - Allegra's Old Earlers... 
pull out a close one in Jacksonville.
Pittsburgh 17 at Baltimore 27 - Dem Dirty Black Byrds teach Big Ben and his Stoolers a thing or two about the price of crabs in Baltimore.
Indianapolis 10 at Houston 28 - Like Allegra's daily training... 
her current Earlers ride hard, breaking them Paytonless Colts in the old Reliant Corral.
NY Giants 27 at Washington 13 - Allegra's Deadskins show the Jersey Jints they still know how to lose... 
with the best of them.
Minnesota 10 at San Diego 35 - Da Bolts cut off McNabb's horns and sent the Viqueens home with a losing record.
Seattle 14 at San Francisco 21 - The 69ers out swish the Seahags at Candlestick.
Carolina 9 at Arizona 28 - The Chicago/St. Louis/Arizona Redbyrds deCam the Panthers, but do I see... 
a Cam Newton Supporter there?
No, honey, this is my... 
bra size.
New England 35 at Miami 17 - The Patty-Cakes, big's other team, enjoy the south Florida heat as they cook the Phins well done.
Oakland 13 at Denver 31 - The Timboless Bronchoettes are bad, but not a bad as Al's Deadass Waiders.
Oh, yeah, in that battle of the Ryan Boys at The Jerseylands will have Rex Ryan says, "Round up... 
the ususal defense--
My 'Boys... 
winning in a walk, Cowboys 27 - Jets 13.
You must be joking, Bendy... 
The Jets lose with Namath at quarterback, Boozer at halfback and Snell at fullback?
Don, Don, Don! Always 40 someodd years late... 
and a backfield short! My 'Boys will take no prisoners!
That's a little bloodthirsty... 
isn't it, Bend?
It is not that we are bloodthirsty, Don, old sport... 
We just don't have the room on Jerry's Jet back to Big D.
