I always thought good satire let the reader off the hook at some point.
Oh, wait, that's good satire.
Bad satire has to have somebody else tell you it's satire on a webpage.
Thx for your extraordinary expenditure of effort in writing such an essay to let us off the hook in trying to figure out what the hell you think you are saying.
Or, is it just satire? Or should I assume you have a journalism degree from an Ivy league school.