Really? Well, then it strikes me that you're easily amused. Frankly I don't believe a single word of the aching bathos you just posted, and for exactly the same reasons you don't believe the lady in the article. Have a good evening.
Yes, I did indeed have a good evening, because I surpassed that “aching bathos” you characterized as my childhood. Unlike you, I wouldn’t change a thing - it was character-building and enabled me to overcome later challenges in life without whining about it!
JC