Posted on 06/03/2011 7:46:21 AM PDT by winodog
A 21 year old girl whom I have not heard from for 18 years contacted me on the internet. It is a long story and I will try to make it short. I was in love with her mom and was there when she was born therefore she has or had my last name. When she was three her mom married the real father and I was left heartbroken, although it is nothing compared to what this poor little angel was forced to endure.
We have exchanged a few emails and I know very little about her other then she is gorgeous : ), she just turned 21, she just graduated from beauty school and she is able to communicate online very well without the usual things you see from young people. However she was super smart right off the bat.
My question is, what sort of skills should I help her to pursue. I am leary of advising her to get more schooling. let alone pay for it, : )
Those bases are covered. Thank you.
yeah a little creepy...
Thanks for the link....from both me and my 9 YO daughter....
I don’t think Laz is with us any longer.
I used it in the title to get response and the second time I should have said lovely young lady. You are correct and I will refrain from using that term.
May I also add this: if you are currently married, be open to your wife about this. Don’t assume she will understand or support this completely without some facts and questions. I am sure her main question will be: What does she want? If it is just a friendship with someone who cared about her during her first three years then fine. But, if there is a more “sinister” motive then obviously no. The WORST decision you could make is to keep this secret from your family.
I was blessed to receive the following advice and it has done me well.
First be good at one thing. Be REALLY good at it. Push yourself to become the top 100 in the nation at that one thing. Then, when you get to the top, expand into other closely related fields. Become wider in your skills.
To help me become one of the top in my field, I realized that I would need two skills outside of my career field.
Speed Reading - cut the amount of time that I needed to spend studying
Typing - cut the time needed to perform work for my boss
Yes, though no fault of my own
Tell her to do her very best, with a good attitude, in everything, even the most menial tasks, and look for ways to go beyond the minimum requirements. If she does that, she will stand out and be successful. If, in the process, she finds something that she loves to do, she will be truly blessed.
What does she want from you?
You might be surprised by the answer if you ask her not us.
There are all kinds of support a 21 year old could need or crave that don't involve your wallet.
He is! Laz is with us in spirit :)
Your feelings are wrong. Although I am about of a nervous wreck.
I am single
Tell her “NEVER EVER EVER go into debt. Not even a mortgage or car payment. ESPECIALLY not a mortgage or car payment.”
Hairdresser for a 17 Yr old guy??? Sheez whatever happened to the kitchen barbershop, aka mom with a buzzcutter. :)
Ah, you fell for the home page. (Click on find in forum)...
This may give us more insight: do you have other children? You may think that it doesn’t matter but it does. If you don’t, you may still see her as a surrogate daughter and your fatherly love may get in the way of common sense. If you do have children, their priorities are obviously more important and could keep you a bit grounded. Believe me, even the most intelligent/reasonable/rational human being can be led astray by matters of the heart. It is what makes us human. I agree with the FR’s who suggest going very, very slowly and testing the waters a bit.
Wha....????
Well for $100 bucks you can order a paternity test. You can buy the kit at most drug stores (unless your from NY, they don’t sell them there). Then you’ll know for sure...
That is not sufficiently Cool.
My husband cuts all our other sons’ hair with a power-shaver. The choices are “really short” and “bald.”
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