Posted on 05/20/2011 8:31:24 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
I saw a fundamentalist Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grand River this morning; he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.
Along with him was an illegal Hispanic drug cartel member who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back.
If they didn’t get help, they’d surely drown.
Being a responsible Texan and abiding by the law to help those in distress, I informed the El Paso County Sheriff ‘s Office and Homeland Security.
It is now 4pm, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded.
I’m starting to think I wasted two stamps.
My favorite:
Subject: A taxpayer’s prayer
Obama is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his partys sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has anointed my income with taxes, my expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.
Im glad I am American, I am glad that I am free,
But I wish I was a dog, and Obama was a tree!
author unknown
Subject: FW: Five year old Granddaughter
This is one of the funniest ones I’ve seen in a long time.
I was eating lunch on the 20th of February with my 5-year-old granddaughter and I asked her, “What day is tomorrow?”
She said “It’s President’s Day!”
She is a smart kid. So, I asked “What does President’s Day mean?” I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln ... etc.
She replied, “President’s Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment.”
You know, it hurts when coffee spurts out your nose...
Guys?
We may be joking around on this thread, but...
Didja see Netanyahu just hand The Won his ass?
Obama was so pissed and dissed he just abruptly ended the conference.
I wouldn’t be all that surprised if our homeboy responded to the public dissing by nuking Israel,
In which case, joke’s on us, Camping got it right!
Wait, if we go back to the 1860 boarders, won't he be African?
Woopsie, forgot he probably already is!
NOTHING!... Thank you
No nully - the blatant ignorance of the 0bama did not escape me nor the predictions for tomorrow. Camping just fits into the picture by ENHANCING the mocking of the soon TRUE return of Christ (Camping is an amillennialist btw). Wish I could have seen Bibi rip 0bama a new one.
This weekend the Cubs are playing the Red Sox at Fenway for the first time since the 1918 World Series. That series went 6 games—first 3 at Comiskey (bigger than Wrigley), then the last 3 at Fenway. (Unusual...but because of travel restrictions, World War I)
Stephen King wrote (BEFORE the Red Sox won it all in 04 and 07) that someday the Red Sox and Cubs would meet again in the world series. They would split the first six games... “and on the eve of Game 7, the world will end”.
I would clean up 30 bales of of hay for $100,000 and even change the air filters!
#136 & #137 LOL!
#138 ? (I am not always smartest one in the room)
I used my dogs name & couldn’t stop laughing. Thanks for the link!!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.