Disclaimer: This is in fun only - some “I’d hit it like...” phrases. I am a married man, so here goes...
“I’d hit that like the Tunguska blast of 1908”
“I’d hit that like Ike hit Tina.”
“I’d bang that like a retard on a drum kit.”
“I’d hit that like Ivan Drago hit Apollo Creed.”
“I’d hit that so hard that only the true king of England could pull me out.”
bang it like a screen door in a hurricane
In view of recent box-office events:
“I’d hit it like the hammer of Thor!”
Screen door in a hurricane...