My Mom stayed at home and Dad took care of her (we lived 10 hours away, so while we visited as often as possible, unfortunately I was not there to help all the time. In hindsight, if I had realized how little time she had I would have taken a longer leave of absence and stayed instead of going back home).
Anyway, she had good insurance, and I guess by that time Medicare. Dad took excellent care of her, even tho toward the end she was not mobile. He got her a hospital bed and made sure she was turned regularly, kept clean and comfortable. I think they had a visiting nurse of some sort, but I do remember he complained at one point that sometimes they didn’t show up when they were supposed to. I think it was difficult getting help, but he was determined to keep Mom at home because it was what she wanted.
My Father in Law also cared for my Mother in Law with Alzheimers at home for about 8 years, until he died suddenly of a heart attack. They also had someone who came in a couple of times a week to do a few things, but mostly he did it all. Fortunately she was compliant mostly, and not mobile. It’s not something everyone can do. She died 27 hours after he did.
My wish is to not go to a nursing home, however I trust my husband and my children to make the best decision for me. I don’t want the government doing it. I feel sorry for people who don’t have people in their lives they can trust their life with. What is it they say, raise your kids right, they will be choosing your nursing home? All of mine know exactly how I feel about all of these things and I have no doubt they will respect my wishes. It doesn’t hurt that they all know they will see me again afterwards. ;)
No one knows how long we have, my husband at the age of 51 walked out of the barn when we were putting up hay and died in the back yard of his one and only heart attack. That was a long time ago...I did CPR on him until the ambulance arrived, but we lived in the country, it took them a while and the hospital was about 30 miles away. I take life one day at a time...:O) and have lived to the ripe old age now of 72...
Since I have never been 72 before, I guess I am doing all right.LOL