Posted on 04/15/2011 12:43:50 PM PDT by decimon
I would love it to be that way for us, but we are all spread all over the place. I wish my Dad would come live with us, but he won’t.
Is your daughter a sophmore?
Because this not ataypical.
MOVE.
LOL - Easy for me to say. My grandparnents built this house, My parents bought it from them, I got stuck with the mortgage...
Well, it’s not in the cards right now for us, job, etc. We live in FL kids all live in TX in different towns, Dad lives in NM. We are a ways from retirement. We’ll see how life shakes out. Who knows. :)
Ditto - I am not allowed to move, until the youngest graduates.
Time will go by.
I hear ya...my kid is 35 and acts like she’s 15!
Time will go by.
And so will I.
Yep. Typical is what we’re hearing and we knew they all go through this but we never imagined it would be to this extreme.
Ah. My son has told me some amazing stories.
He gradueates in a few weeks - G_D willing.
Can I propose a middle ground? Love your child, pray for her, realize that she will work through it.
If badly. they all do. ;)
Lord knows, I did.
Didn't read the article, but a couple things come to mind: more people going to college, so they're staying at home during that time. Parents set up college funds years ago, so the kids are expected the parents to pony up the costs.
Once these kids graduate, they can't find an entry job in their field and won't take jobs "beneath" them and their degrees (in useless fields, in many cases).
From your lips to God’s ears.
We left it that this is still her home and we’ll always be her parents whether she likes it or not. I know we raised her right and did everything we could to teach her life skills so she can make it if she sets her mind to it. She’s very stubborn so I hope that between the stubborness and the anger against us that that will help her make it because she would never admit failure.
But you know, that is the tanlsation of “Sophomore”
“Little kid, knows everything, has the world by the tail.”
The next year get better - after they starve a bit.
Funny, when I was a sophomore, I thought my Dad was an idiot.
It is amazing, what he has learned sice then.
Sadly, they haven't yet learned what comes out the tail end.
Glad to hear your dad has wised up over the years. ;)
“I was moved out at 17 and also have never looked back. The only reason adults should live with their parents is if they are caring for them.”
I was out of the house at 17, too. And I had a TERRIFIC childhood. I wasn’t running AWAY from anything. I was running TOWARD Life!
I care for my elderly Dad. He refuses to live with me. He says I’d ‘work him to death’ if he did, LOL! :)
I find it incredible - I thought the guy was too old to learn new skills.
LOL.
Seriously, give your kid a break. And help.
You would not believe the stuff some kids do - But does it matter? Are they not your children?
Hold them accountable, bitch them out, and help them fix it.
Best you can do.
I wouldn’t live with you - you would kick me out in the snow.
Oh, wait...
But I wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eatin’ crackers...Oh, wait...LOL!
Nice to see you, Stranger!
“And there’s no one STRANGER than YOU!” ~ [My Groucho Impersonation]
Hey! I can twirl my cigar and wiggle my mustache with the BEST of ‘em! :)
Don’t lose your marbles. Instead set your sights on a different future, one that’s a whole lot different from that of your parents. First, to clear the air:
1) You aren’t alone. There’s a heck of a lot of young people out there right now in your same boat. Their numbers have been growing for so long that some of them are now in their 50’s, with little income other than a pittance allowance their still living parents still give them.
2) Face the fact that unless things change big time, you probably won’t have a chance in Hades of getting married and having kids. Even less so if you are a responsible person who doesn’t want to ruin other people’s lives.
3) Forget additional schooling. It won’t help, and will just get you deeper in the hole. If you’re in the hole right now, or even if you’re not, talk to your parents about family asset protection. They will likely be amenable to the subject. But what does this mean?
a) Set up a family trust for the big ticket items, like the house, with your parents as trustees, and you as the third trustee. This will help them protect each other and you from disaster when one or both of them are incapacitated or die. Make sure that they and you are signed on as a part owner of any safe deposit boxes, and even savings and checking accounts, so that these can’t be sealed when one of them dies. Also make sure that all your wills, including powers of attorney and medical wills are current.
b) If they have spare money, each year they can give you a maximum of $12,000 as a gift, tax free. If they are willing, meet them halfway by having it put in a family tax free investment account, like a carefully chosen municipal long term bond fund. This means their gift will increase in value as much as 5% every year, tax free. As a rationale, it is “emergency money” that you will control in the event they have a problem and their assets are frozen. Otherwise you leave it alone. It is insurance.
4) Only now can you start planning a break out. The best bet for seed money for this is to start a home based business. And this is the hardest thing you will need to do, thinking up a product or service that people will pay for, without breaking the bank.
5) But once you get the ball rolling on this, it will do much to lift the clouds and get you living again. Yes, there will be hardship, but you will at least start seeing a positive future again.
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