Replies

BtD (opening door): "Oh, hi, kids! Didn't mean to interrupt."
Kiddies: "Hi, Uncle Bill! We're having a party!"
BtD (edging out): "Well, great. Hey, gotta go..."
Suzy: "Oh, no, Uncle Bill! Come on in! What's that in the bag you got there?"
BtD: "Uh, it's a bottle of single-malt Scotch. Thought I'd settle in for a nice, quiet evening...you know, a little Mozart, a nice book..."
Suzy: "Oh, that's cool, Uncle Bill! Come on in and join us." Hands BtD an object wrapped in paper.
BtD: "Well, I dunno, maybe...uh...wazzat?"
Suzy: "It's a tampon, Uncle Bill!"
BtD: "Uh, yeah, I know, but whatinell..."
Suzy: "Here's a glass. It's for the Scotch!"
BtD: "Oh. OK, now we're talkin'..."
Suzy: "Now pour the Scotch into the glass, soak the tampon in it, and stick it up yer butt!"
BtD (long, awkward pause): "Uh, Suzy? I'm thinking there are some things your parents didn't tell you about drinking..."