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Maybe adoring parents was teh thing that made her so self destructive; people need ot be taught that it’s okay to hate your abusive parents, hate what they did to you. I read “The Toxic Parent” and the author writes that forgiveness doesn’t have to be given if the victim isn’t ready to do that. It’s okay to not frogive and only do it when the patient is ready, not the parent or the therapist.

The Bible says something very different, and I think I'll go with it says over some author who thinks they have the answers.

Hate will consume you. I have a very abusive, violent, drug addicted, psychiatrically interesting parent. I have no hate, though. It's hard to rise above hate, but it's what we're supposed to do. It's what we're commanded to do. It isn't a suggestion.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins

You don't have to hate the person to avoid them or their toxic behavior.

Forgiveness is for the victim as much as it is for the aggressor.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times

Life isn't fair or easy. You don't have the right to hate just because someone did wrong by you.