Paul warned us about legalistic interpretations, getting hung up on the letter of the law, instead of the spirit.
That is an interesting deconstruction of 1 Ti 3. What makes it particularly odd is that in the very same letter Paul describes who "the law" is for (1:8-11) and for what purpose, and no where in his description did I see anything close to resembling him saying, "and about the other things I'm telling you to do - these are just mere suggestions, I really don't expect you to actually abide by them."
The passages that your congregation willfully chose to ignore, in this case deacons, explains the purpose in the requirements. To advise another to blow off Paul's instructions is to also belittle the reasons behind them.
So I'm not quite sure how to take your advice here. Your reasoning is flawed, Paul's rules for the Church are not the same as the Law handed down to Moses. Paul explicitly states that those who reject his words are not rejecting the words of man, but of God (1 Thess 4:8) and that those who do not obey these words should be abandoned. (2 Thes 3:14). Furthermore, in passages like Philemon 21 Paul expects the recipients of his letters to do more than just obey the letter. If we were to follow the same course that your congregation has chosen, there comes a problem when those who are under bishops and deacons are going to struggle with Hebrews 13:17 "They keep watch over you as men who must give an account." especially when those who "must give account" never even met the qualifications.
I don't know how your operation runs, maybe the Bible is a joke, in which case, the unqualified deacons seems to fit in well with that culture. What seems more disturbing is that out of your congregation, you couldn't find anyone who could fulfill these qualifications - so now you have Affirmative Action deacons, and expect God to wink at the transgression. (sigh)
They might be real stand-up respectable guys, but that is only part of the qualification. The instructions want demonstration that has taken years to accomplish. You can't fake having good kids and a joyful household.
Do I need to slip in a "Birther" comment here too? ;)
Was that really necessary to make a point?
Many people believe that “husband of one wife” could mean one wife at a time!!!!!