Talked to Charlie’s doctor the other day...
Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that’s it... Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they
take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.
Beer also made of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two
bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!
Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they
permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be
doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good
food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me...
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
A guy was eating lunch today with his 10-year-old grandson when his mom asked him, “What is tomorrow?” He said, “It’s President’s Day.”
She asked, “What does that mean?” ... I was waiting for something profound...
He said, “President’s Day is when Obama steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have 2 more years of unemployment.”