>> “ I am a blackbelt in karate” <<
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I believe that this may well be the source of your emptyness.
Karate, like all the ‘eastern’ arts takes one away from Christ, and fatally attaches them to the Earth. God’s children are not a part of the Earth, and those that become part of the Earth have chosen to be apart from God, which is the essence of spiritual death.
Reject those errors and turn to Christ.
I wish I could give the Freeper credit that passed along this gem in his tagline, but
“Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.”
I think it’s also true of eastern philosophy.