James,
You are not alone.
I do the same as you everyday, and feel the same way.
Know, you have purpose. Do you have family?
I am no judge but I and many others know how you feel. We are all in the same boat. I believe that your purpose will be revealed in the future in whatever insignificance you may believe there is. Someone will depend on you for guidance.
You may not go down in the annuls of history but you will have made a difference.