Seriously, isn't this kind of outlook what makes it so easy for jihadi’s to recruit? I know what you feel but Life is not a curse! It's a gift. From God or whatever you choose to believe. Everyone here has, or will have the same feelings you are feeling. It's just how you deal with it. I choose to live my mostly mundane life secure in the knowledge that I do have a purpose. Your trials are preparing you for something great! Believe it.
Sure, or something like it. Fear of women.