Dave Says - February 7, 2011 (Dave Ramsey)

I’m fairly responsible with finances, but my girlfriend is in a terrible financial situation with a lot of credit card debt, an expensive car payment, and a big, fancy apartment. Plus, she just quit her job because she didn’t like it anymore. Now, she’s thinking about filing bankruptcy and thinks us moving in together will help solve her problems. If she can’t handle her finances on her own, what’s going to happen if we get together? Can you help?

This is someone to keep dating, not marry right now or move in with, and see if she changes her spending habits. You’d have a very tough life being married to this woman, unless she makes some real attitude adjustments where her money is concerned.

I can’t say if she’s technically bankrupt, but she definitely needs to move into a cheaper apartment and sell the car for starters. Still, bankruptcy’s not going to solve anything if she’s got a heart problem. By this, I mean if she buys stuff to try and make her happy and lives beyond her means in the process.

Lots of people have the idea that they are what they drive, or they are where they live. Those are heart problems, and that’s the way I was many years ago until I had some sense knocked into me by going broke. Then, I realized I had to stop and make some changes.

This doesn’t mean that she isn’t worthy of your love or she’s a terrible person, but it does mean that the girl has got some growing up to do. Money matters aside, you don’t quit your job without a plan unless you’re being sexually harassed or abused, or there’s some matter of principle at stake. Leaving one job for another is okay. But the idea of deciding you just don’t like something, and walking away from it when you’ve got a bunch of bills, is just plain irresponsible.

She’s probably not bankrupt, but there are some definite character issues that need to be addressed. Hopefully, you two can work through this together.

My husband likes to borrow money on fix-up projects around the house. He says he knows how to manage money, and will pay the loans back quickly. The other day, he came to me for money to make the payment on the latest loan he took out. Then, he started fussing at me when I didn’t have the money to make the payment. It’s not the first time this sort of thing has happened. How can I make it stop?

This guy needs a swift kick in his rear end! He says he knows how to manage money, but he doesn’t know how to save up to re-wire the garage?

It sounds to me like you’ve got am overgrown teenager on your hands instead of a husband. It’s bad enough that he can’t take care of his own responsibilities, but then he turns around and fusses when you won’t do it for him. That’s ridiculous!

Marriage is all about unity. Once the rings go on those fingers it’s a we thing, not a me thing. Husbands and wives should work together to form a game plan that will help them win in life, and that includes finances.

I think you should take the money he’s asking for and use it to see a good marriage counselor. There are some real issues here that need attention. You guys need to deal with them, and create a real marriage, before this situation gets any worse!

I know what $100 does and I also know that anyone with internet can afford it IF THEY WANT TO.

I can afford it, but I'm not paying it. There are those who could be helped by Dave's teachings, but they have to NOT pay the electric bill or something equally important in order to afford the $100.

Nah, Dave's got enough money. I'll give my $100 to charity.

Personally I have not taken FPU either and I would consider myself to be pretty much a Dave Ramsey expert. I would love to get the DVD’s, but I don’t think I would learn much from taking the class. In the interest of full disclosure, I have been accepted for his counselor training and will be attending that next month. So, admittedly, I am very skewed toward being on Dave’s side in this discussion.

Look at it this way, the individuals/families, that take the class need to have some skin in the game and the amount of $100 hurts just enough to ensure that they take it very seriously. In the cases of those that it is so tight that they can not afford to take the class, what I would offer to them is that if they read TTMO, then I would fund their FPU class. However, they must read the book first and they must attend all 13 classes to get that re-imbursement from me.

I wasn’t aware of the churches being charged for it, but now that I think about it that makes sense too. My bet is that the level of tithing increases exponentially as more people from the church and community take the class. What was the amount that you heard the church paid?

“Nah, Dave’s got enough money.”

OK, since we are arguing, I’ll attack you in the obligatory FR/DU method. ;-) How very liberal of you to chose when others have earned enough money! ;-)

Seriously, I agree that Dave’s wealth is tremondous, however I think he earns every penny that he makes on sales of books and classes, etc. The value his lessons bring to individuals is well above what they are spending on Dave’s products. In addition, those teachings spread into the community almost as if it is a virus. In the long run, the benefits realized (value) by so many with his teachings is astronomical. His wealth is but a fraction of the value he brings to society. I much prefer that he be rewarded in our capitalist society than many other folks......

Look at it this way, the individuals/families, that take the class need to have some skin in the game and the amount of $100 hurts just enough to ensure that they take it very seriously.

That's what the facilitator at our church said. I said, "well, if someone was financially hurting, $25 or $50 would be a lot of skin."

What was the amount that you heard the church paid?

They did not share that, and I did not ask. I was too focused on how much beans and rice $100 could buy.

How very liberal of you to chose when others have earned enough money!

LOL Well, he can make all the market will bear. He just won't be getting my $100.

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