Pfft.. the translation is EASY!
“Hi! My name is Ekros. I am a farmer. I have sheep. My wife is stupid. She spends all my money. I wish I was married to this sheep. She is my best friend. Also, I eat Olives. I am sick of Olives. Tomorrow is the Festival. I bet my wife will spend my money on buying useless Togas. Like she does not have 100 Togas already. I wonder if they will have Erkot the Magician at the Festival. Also, I hope the virgins don’t choose ME for the Human Sacrifice”