I’ll start with the kids. If they mattered, then no divorce - EVER (except for violence). I’m a big fan of Dr. Laura’s and I know full well what it means to kids to have parents walk out. Yet parents do it anyway...and then rationalize that the kids are better with split parents - so both (husband and wife) get the blame in my book. Now, if you look at (non-Hispanic) immigrant families and the fact that they are much more likely to stay together, and then the kids almost always do very well in school, even if they sometimes haven’t even mastered English...there is a correlation. As a guy who prefers to be married just once...that means a lot.
As to my point of view - sure it’s jaded. But when most of my friends have been divorced and many taken to the cleaners, and many other never wanting to play the lottery, I will get a jaded viewpoint. But that is my point, and the overall numbers bear that out. I don’t really care if it’s the woman’s fault for a divorce, or the guy’s, or both. All that matters to me is whether there is a divorce - and what can I do, as I guy, to minimize that possibility. And, like it or not, going halfway around the world to find a wife is probably the single best insurance possible. While I’m sure they’re out there, I have yet to see a mixed marriage of that type end in divorce.
As to knowing couples that have gotten through tough times, no doubt. As noted before, it’s simply a probability game - in a country that has a 50% divorce rate (which I see first-hand), there are also 50% of couples that make it (although skewed somewhat my immigrant-based marriages), so sure, there are plenty of happy endings in mainstream America - I know some too (of course).
Yes, the money is a piece of it. One guy I know just moved to Australia, permanently, as his ex totally cleaned his clock and he absolutely no future here. Get a bad judge...and it’s game over - so you have to play the probability game and do your best to never be in front of a judge. From the woman’s standpoint - they have legal bills too, they have to deal with non-payments, they have the expenses of the kids. But for some women, wiping out the ex makes it all worth it - again, you only find that out when it’s too late - so why take the chance?
You think women from Eastern Europe stay in an American marriage longer due to their customs or beliefs back home. I think it could have more to do with being treated like a second class citizen here by their husbands or their fear of not being able to support themselves. Probably both viewpoints have some validity.
I still think that marriage should be based on love and respect - and if you go shopping for a bride in another country then you are buying her based on her appearance, not on the values marriage should have as a foundation. If she has put up with whatever you claim she had to deal with, then congratuations - you found one that either came to love you or depends on you completely to the point of putting up with more than an American woman would put up with. That statement should have stood out to you even as you typed it - the fact that it doesn't is very sad.