Well, here is my 2 pennies..
I bought a small frame .38 as my first carry gun. The accuracy is awful over 15 ft. After a year or so decided it was time to upgrade. I went to the range with friends and trued out a few different guns, 9mms mostly.
Came away buying a Kimber 1911 .45 with a 3” barrel. Bought a good holster from “High Noon” and find it only a little harder to conceal than the .38 and the weight is no issue, can carry it all day.
Decided no to buy a 9mm for a few reasons.
Smaller light 9’s kick almost as bad at the .45 and are not near as fun to shoot. The .45 has more of a mellow thump of a kick IMO.. 9mm also has more of a chance of going through and through and injuring folks you do not want to hit and the .45 has much more stopping power.
I can not see many situations where you would need more than 7 rounds of .45 if your a decent shot. Most likely the punk who is robbing you will have a 9mm and I would think if you can’t drop em in first 2 shots your in trouble. 12 or 17 rounds are good for the range but who wants to lug it around all day.
The best thing about the .45 is confidence, it is a firearm that will do the job, even if the other guy is hopped up on crack.. A 9mm, well.....
Get a laser if its in the budget. If nothing else as a training aid to see how your shooting. It also allows you to get the muzzle on target before you get a proper sight picture, important in an emergency.
I bought a High Noon holster for my subcompact and found that I didn’t like it. The ride was high enough that I felt like it didn’t have enough of the barrel down inside the waistband to be secure. Felt like the whole holster was going to flip out over my belt. Maybe I just bought the wrong model for that gun.