[The Comedian]

Mmmm.....ammo! And Scotch! The Ol Elf was good this year!

Yeah! He left the same stuff for me!

Sure am glad St. Nick ain't a liberal teetotaler.

Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.

[Farmer Dean]

My wife gave me .308 Gold Medal.