Posted on 12/15/2010 5:56:04 AM PST by CSM
The borrower is slave to the lender......
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DEBT IS NOT A MATHEMATICAL PROBLEM, IT IS A BEHAVIOR PROBLEM !!
I was in a situation where I had borrowed money from a family member, and paid it back, dollar for dollar, as agreed. But it was not really an equitable deal for the lender, because she didn’t make any interest.
So, I sat down and figured out what she would have made if I had been paying 8% for the duration of the loan, and gave her that in cash, not taking no for an answer. It wasn’t that much money, and everybody felt better about the whole thing.
what I did was whenever I paid off a loan, I put half of the usual payment into the next load, and splurged with the other half. that way I had the benifit of being to relax and take a bit of stress off, yet I still got ahead on my other loans.
if you don’t get some reward for paying the debt off, you feel like you’re caught in a grind with no escape. you gotta let off steam every now and again.
I have turned family members down who have asked to borrow if I don't believe they've done all they can on their own to resolve the problem.
Polonius:
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
Hamlet Act 1, scene 3
We just turned down our 28 year old daughter who wanted a loan for school. She makes good money part-time working and seems to be turning into a professional student. Right now she's angry and we don't expect a Christmas card this year....oh well.
That’s called “blow money” and should be part of the budget. It should be planned for, but not a completely re-occuring item.....
Awesome, thanks!
You did the right thing and you have our support. As Dave would say, “would you give a drunk a drink?” No matter how angry your daughter is, have a peaceful mind that you are not enabling her.
yes, it provides a morale boost whilst at the same time accelerating the paydown...
Sometimes you just have to take a tough stance. At that age school should be on the individual’s shoulder, not the parents. It is not so much a matter of money as it is helping a person grow up a bit.
Read the entire scene, starting with Ophelia and Laertes, and ending with Ophelia and Polonius. Then you can understand that Polonius only cares about appearances and advancing the interests of the Polonian family.
"To thine own self be true," also widely quoted, is really a wicked saying, and if followed would leave one with no standards of virtue at all, except naked self-interest.
Polonoius is really an evil dude, probably responsible for Hamlet's non-advancement to the Throne (Polonius was head of the Council), and thus behind the rottenness that Denmark is subject to.
And Polonius got his just desserts - "How now? A rat? Dead, for a ducat, dead!"
You did the right thing, though. There comes a time when we have to demand that our kids stand on their own two feet. I imagine she will learn to appreciate that later.
We went through a rough time with our son, but he's a much better man for it and appreciates the hard stance we took at the time. (He didn't really grasp it until he had kids of his own.)
Funny thing is she is the only one out of five that is like this. The rest are really money responsible. She is also the only one that is liberal. Going to school for “Green Design” ....maybe that has something to do with it.
Umm, Shakespeare wrote that not as advice, or to be taken seriously, but to show that Polonious was a cliche-ridden fraud.
Thanks, I posted a shorter, less eloquent version of the same idea. Drives me crazy when half-read literature is misused.
I am obsessed with Hamlet. I've seen dozens of productions, but still find the Branagh film version, unabridged of course, to be the best. I watched the first half with my ten year old son last week. Never too early to start with great literature.
And every time I read/see Hamlet I see something new. What a work of genius!
I am fascinated by Hamlet also. Have my own crackpot theory about Ophelia and some missing pages.
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