Isn’t a .45 a bit big for most women? My wife has only put about 20 rounds through a .45 before she went back to the 9mm. If he’s looking for a gun for him and his wife ... I’d lean toward recommending the 9mm over the .45.
SnakeDoc
A .45 probably is a lot of gun for most women. Some women of my acquaintance are even a bit overwhelmed with the 9mm. I’d be somewhat concerned about recoil with a shotgun as well. Maybe the best advice is for pepsi_junkie
to take his wife to the range and try some rental guns to see what she’s comfortable with.