Posted on 10/02/2010 2:02:57 PM PDT by firebrand
Forgive me for the vanity, but I have been watching a lot of TV for the first time in many years, and I can't help noticing how the grammar standards have fallen.
Back in the fifties, the slogan "Winston tastes good like a cigarette should" was widely criticized for helping to abet the breakdown of the like/as distinction. "Like" used to apply to nouns, and "as" to verbs. I quit worrying about that one several years ago, long after everyone else did.
But I promise never to abandon the dangling modifier and the unparallel sentence. A dangling modifier does not have to be a participle. It can be any descriptive introductory phrase that does not modify the noun or pronoun that follows it.
Lack of parallel in a sentence is possibly the most common fault of mediocre writers. It occurs most often when a few nouns or adjectives are joined by a conjunction with a verb phrase, or predicate. The late William Safire aptly described these sentences as "not lying flat."
Here are some you might have heard lately, minus the sponsor's name, to minimize embarrassment.
After being diagnosed, my doctors recommended a . . .
As a manager, my team . . .
As kids, I always looked up to you. [This one also has a "not only" that is followed by "but" instead of the correct "but also."]
My job is to listen to the ____s, _____s, hotel, and restaurant workers.
Tell your doctor if you have ____, ____, and any other medications you are taking.
. . . whether you're going to Kennedy, Newark, or riding around town.
It's quick, affordable, and takes only about an hour.
It's compact, portable, and stores easily.
It's ____, roomy, and gets . . .
Gold is easy to buy, easy to sell, it has never been worth zero, and the timing has never been better. [In this case, two adjective phrases and two clauses.]
Women who are pregnant, nursing, or may become pregnant.
You would think with all the millions that are spent on airtime, the industry could hire a few copyeditors. But maybe they are just trying to get people to make remarks about the bad grammar and thus remember the product, like a good consumer should.
In a few years if you see or hear of a physicist with a biblical last name, it might well be that fellow.
Some of the commercials I cited look very much like client-produced ads. Either that, or produced by a cut-rate agency.
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