A man comes to work Monday morning with 2 black eyes.
His friend asks what happened. “I went to church,” was the reply.
“I was kneeling there saying my prayers, and I noticed a woman ahead of me wearing a beatiful Spring dress. As she knelt and prayed, she was completely unaware that the dress had become wedged between her buttocks.”
“How embarrassing for her. Did you say something?”
“No. I didn’t want to make a scene. So as inconspicuously as possible, I leaned forward, grasped the lower section of her skirt, and gave a quick little tug to free the trapped material.
“When she turned around, I gave her a friendly smile and a nod. She slugged me! Then, without so much as a ‘thanks’, went back to her praying.”
“Wow! That explains one black eye. How’d you get the other?”
“Well, she got so upset when I fixed her dress, I figured she must have enjoyed wearing it that way. I put it back.”
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leans towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they’ll forever speak of this day and rejoice!”
Pelosi replied, “I seriously doubt that ~ with one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope backhanded her and knocked her off the stage!
AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY!