[The Comedian]

I love hats. The more striking, the better. Girls love 'em, and guys are jealous. If I ever find a Kevlar top hat, I will wonder if I've died and gone to heaven...

Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.

[afraidfortherepublic]

I’ve always been fascinated with those top hats you sometimes see in old movies — the kind that collapse into a disc, then you sock them with your fist and they pop out into a real top hat, like magic.