Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, “The first one who can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.” The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, “I love liver and cheese.” “Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle. “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.” She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says “How well can you do?” “Um. I HATE liver and cheese ,” blurts the Golden Retriever. “My, my,” said the Poodle. “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.” She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?” The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua . He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says ... “Liver alone. Cheese mine!”
Three guys find themselves at a bar in heaven (they have those there just no hangovers). They had all been awarded cars, the type of car based on their fidelity while on earth.
One guy had a Chevy. He cheated considerably. The second guy had a Ford. He strayed a couple of times. The third guy was a saint and had the nicest, newest Cadillac you had ever seen.
The first two were pretty happy, accepting that they were in heaven and had cars and a bar. The third guy, the guy with the Cadillac was really sad though.
“What’s wrong man, I got this stupid Chevy,” said the first man. “You got a Cadillac.”
The man with the Cadillac replies, “I just saw my wife driving a Yugo.”
(apologies to Chevy lovers. Always been a fan of Ford)