Actually the question that SHOULD be asked of teens is “how was your day....”. I tend to agree that the other questions sometimes should not be asked. Sometimes. If they are asked, it should be framed as “have you thought about...” and the “What was she wearing” question is perfectly legitimate. I have 3 wonderful teens right now - and I mean wonderful. They are polite, well adjusted, etc. and my husband and I are NOT their pals and they know it. In fact, they would never allow it. I can tell they are actually relieved when we enforce the “law” and set the limits. They have never been in any kind of trouble - actually the oldest is 20, not a teen - they don’t get snotty most of the time, and we are very proud of them. I think the secret is unconditional love. If kids are raised knowing they are loved unconditionally, they turn out just fine.
God Bless you! They are very good because parents, like you & your husband, believe in discipline, morality & personal responsibility. Even though it is not a easy task but not impossible. You are really a blessed family.
I ask that ALL THE TIME - since they were able to talk!
I will openly bring up the topic of dress and how some dress is respectable and some dress like Lady Gaga is idiotic. I confront it directly.
I will say that during the tween years, they are more emotional, susceptible to peer pressure and from what I can see they are looking for ways to deal with it within the boundaries of HOW THEY ARE BEING RAISED.
I agree.
A variation of the question, long employed by my cousin and his wife who are amazing parents to four kiddies, is "High/Low."
Starting when the kids were very young, at the end of every day, they were asked to name the "High" light and the "Low" point of the day. In their family they called it High/Low. It got the kids talking about what bothered them and kept them from dwelling only on the bad -- even a bad day has something to be happy about or grateful for.
I think so, too.
My cousin and his wife, amazing parents to four kiddies, employ an interesting open-ended variation of the question.
Starting when the kids were very young, at the end of every day, everyone in the family named the "High" light and the "Low" point of the day. They call it simply "High/Low." It gets the kids talking about what hurts or is bothering them and keeps them from dwelling only on the bad -- even a bad day has something to cheer, be happy about or grateful for.