Posted on 06/23/2010 9:15:42 AM PDT by MissTed
I think there is a difference in true hoarders and just plain lazy pigs but the media and so called experts fail to notice the difference. True hoarders are not necessarily dirty, they just collect huge amounts of stuff like compulsive shoppers. Some people are just too lazy to clean up after themselves and things get out of hand. Then there is a combination of the two. My sil is a food hoarder. Her house is clean but she has food stacked everywhere. Pantrys and closets full of food and paper products. There is barely room to walk anymore.
If you are married to me it will be cured.
Before I was married, I liked the idea of having so little stuff that it would all fit in my small pickup truck.Ah, I see you once adhered to the "One Hour Rule".
Getting married throws that whole worldview out the window, though. I am married also, and feel your pain.
Well you know people like me are secretly jealous of you both. I’m not a hoarder, but you’d be amazed at the stuff I’ve hauled from one home to another—only to throw it out after 10 or 15 years. Aargh!
What I am is a Re-arranger. I clean out the closet and put that same crap back in, but in an orderly fashion, which lasts precisely 3 weeks.
As a psychologist, is there anything you can add to this??
I have little tolerance for hoarders. I manage an apartment community and I have seen the damage they do.
The show Hoarders is fascinating. It’s also very frustrating. One lady refused to allow the cleaners to take away a friggin’ TOILET SEAT. Just what everyone needs, a dirty “spare”.
That's okay. I think many of us in GA wouldn't mind if this rag ended up in the Atlantic.
Well, Actually...I’m in Georgia too, and I wholeheartedly agree with you...
In my observations and experience, it depends on degree, as with most things . . .
it doesn’t take much, however, to get over the line into obsessive stuff . . . wherein the hoarding becomes a Linus Security Blanket and the individual is not remotely in control of their stuff. Their stuff is wholesale in control of them. And too easily—it becomes even demonic.
That becomes evident when, in many cases, one tries to help; or exhorts gently or firmly that something must be done. Or even that something specific must be done—say 10 minutes a day or 10 minutes for every 4 hours of TV or on the computer . . . whatever . . .
IF there’s demonic involvement, even mentioning something as minor as 10 minutes a day or 10 minutes every 4 hours of TV or on the computer will likely trigger a fierce spewing of venom, hostility, anger, self-pity, rationalizing, self-justification, excuses galore, etc.
USUALLY such violent spewing is some clue that there is likely some demonic element involved.
Certainly there can be extenuating circumstances occasionally hindering even chipping away at the task. However—usually many years go by and things only get WORSE as with the lady at the beginning of this thread.
Certainly there’s a obsession. The person feel safer hoarding stuff and terrified to lose ANY OF THEIR PRECIOUS TREASURES.
OF COURSE, SUCH STUFF HAS IT’S ORIGINS, AS USUAL, imho, IN CHILDHOOD REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER the first 1-6 or 8 years of life.
BEHAVIOR MOD can help a lot IF the person can be made to see that they MUST reform or end up dead or in the funny farm. That’s not very easy to do—particularly if the person lives alone—which is common. Usually features of their disorder AND THE HOARDING have chased everyone else out of their lives long ago.
Sometimes folks can be helped by starting with the least treasured room and leaste treasured piles of stuff first. However, they will need LOTS of personal support; warm fuzzy friendships; prayer etc. And it is rarely easy. It’s almost or actually is often enough worse than an alcoholic with his booze.
If you have other questions, feel free.
I watch the show Hoarders on satellite. Its facinating..One woman was more upset that they took away dozens of cats and dogs more than when they took her children...another one they found dead animals under the junk and another one told them to look for her dentures under piles of crap cause she lost them a couple of years ago......facinating is right...they even hoard rotten food....
There but for the grace of God go I.
Actually, there is a website, for “Squalor Survivors” that shows how to get out of such a situation, the site has personal accounts of the step-by-step process some of them went through, complete with before and after pictures,
http://www.squalorsurvivors.com/squalor/measuring.shtml
Quote from that page:
First degree squalor
You are getting behind in tasks that you would normally manage, like laundry and dishes. You are not the tidy person you once were. Little piles are starting to emerge and your disorganization is starting to affect your life and inconvenience you. Things are just starting to get out of hand and become unmanageable. A sign of first degree squalor could be that you might be embarrassed for other people to see your mess...but you would still let them in the house.
Second degree squalor
Now things are really starting to get out of hand. Signs that you have reached second degree would include losing the use of normal household items like your bed, table, television or telephone, because the piles have expanded to cover the items up. You start to develop new methods of moving around your house, as normal movement is impeded by your piles of stuff. You might start making excuses to discourage people from entering your house.
Third degree squalor
At this stage, you have all the above, plus you have rotting food and animal faeces and/or urine in the house, and this is the rule not the exception. You cannot cope with the growing mess. Essential household repairs may not be done, because you are too afraid to let a tradesperson see your house. Just the thought of someone seeing your mess causes you great stress.
Fourth degree squalor
At fourth degree squalor, you have all of the above, plus you have human faeces and/or urine in your house that is not in the toilet.
Finally...
Whatever stage of squalor you are at, know two things:
1. You are not the only person to have reached this degree of squalor. Other people have been where you are...and come back.
2. You deserve better!
= = =
The other site that is helpful is
FINALLY LOVE YOURSELF (F.L.Y.) at
The most famous case was that of the Collyer brothers, who both died in 1947 in their home that was filled to the rafters with all kinds of junk. It was a tragic situation, the more capable of the two brothers died first from his own booby-trap and then the helpless brother starved to death.
Here’s the link,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collyer_brothers
I like this one from the squalor site
Organizing From the Inside Out: The Foolproof System for Organizing Your Home, Your Office, and Your Life. Julie Morgenstern.
‘Decluttering isn’t about throwing things away. It is about giving yourself access to things you love.
‘Julie has steps to follow along the road of organization/decluttering. They are easy to remember with the acronym SPACE.
* S for Sort
* P for Purge
* A for Assign a home
* C for Containerize
* E for Equalize
‘Start small. Pick a bookcase or top of the television. Pick something
visible ...’
http://www.squalorsurvivors.com/resources/organizing-from-the-inside-out-review.shtml
GREAT LINKS.
THANKS FOR THE PINGS AND YOUR CANDOR.
VERY EXCELLENT SUGGESTIONS.
I think of it as reversing the devouring amoeba . . .
It originally begins to consume everything—space.
Begin to regain space. Expand the regained space & use of what is fitting to keep.
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