Parents don't believe their kids have sex

Boston Herald ^ | 16 June 2010 | AP

[strider44]

Parents don’t believe their kids have sex By Associated Press Wednesday, June 16, 2010 - Added 20h ago

RALEIGH, N.C.— Carole Bullard considers herself open-minded when it comes to dealing with the sexuality of her teen son and her almost teenage one.

She and her husband, Roger, have age-appropriate talks with their sons, ages 17 and 12. And though she believes the older boy and his girlfriend have not had sex, she’s realistic that they might.

"Do I want them having sex? No," said Bullard, 42, of Cary. "I’ve told them I’m not going to be a grandparent until I’m 60."

At least the Bullards are aware that their children are interested in sex. The research of Dr. Sinikka Elliott indicates they may be an anomaly. The assistant sociology professor at North Carolina State University says she’s found that parents believe that other teens are having sex — and lots of it.

[strider44]

My boys are 5 and 3. I have some time before these conversations. My brother is in the thick of it with his 17 and 13 year-old boys. I'm just glad we don't have teenage girls...

[andy58-in-nh]

Kids don’t believe their parents have sex, either.

[Osage Orange]

Sometimes the kids are right.......

[strider44]

True. My kids haven’t caught my wife and I yet, but it may happen sooner or later...

[equalitybeforethelaw]

Kids don’t believe their parents have sex, either.

Actually they do believe it, they just don’t want those images in their head. Can’t blame them.

[andy58-in-nh]

Nobody wants to imagine their parents doing “that”. Trust me: be sure to lock the door.

[GraceG]

What are parents to do? Get their kids spayed and neutered? Of course then they will never become grandparents.

[andy58-in-nh]

We recently found out that some high school kids were caught in flagrante behind a stairwell - and this is a nice, conservative, wealthy town. Not happy about it, especially since my daughter will be a freshman this fall.

[Retired Greyhound]

We were walked in on once. Son was 17 I think.

It was pretty funny.

[Redcloak]

I wonder: Did Mrs. Bullard actually tell her sons that sex outside of marriage is unacceptable behavior? Or did her “age-appropriate talks” with them simple cover the mechanics of putting on a condom?

[Retired Greyhound]

This story seems to be a covert assault against abstinence.

[Osage Orange]

Kids gone.

What's sex?

[GnuHere]

I have a friend who obsesses over this - but after having appropriate talks and supervision, what good does that do? Eventually, nature is gonna takes its course. Even if you try to micro-manage 95% of their time, there’s that pesky 5%.

[earlJam]

And on the other hand, kids don’t believe their parents have sex.

[strider44]

We had a scandal like that when I was in HS. I graduated in 1988 and come from the same type of affluent, conservative town. Teenagers have be nailing eachother since we’ve been walking upright. They will find a way...

[Retired COB]

Actually they do believe it, they just don’t want those images in their head. Can’t blame them.

My nephews called it "Bumpin' Uglies".

[andy58-in-nh]

I understand completely. Sometimes you’ve got to be creative. Or persistent. And have good local sources for chocolate and flowers.

[strider44]

I don’t remember many details of the conversations, mostly my father putting the fear of god in me to ever be caught in our house alone with a girl when I was in HS. Also he stressed how my life would be ruined if I got a girl pregnant...I believed him.

[Retired COB]

What's sex?

My doctor told me I had to give up half of my sex life. I asked him, "Which half....the wishing or the remembering?".

[andy58-in-nh]

It used to be far more rare and in fact was treated as a "scandal" when discovered. The potential consequences were far more dire before abortion and over-the-counter contraception became commonplace. Also, when we still had mostly intact traditional families, you had fathers like me whose daughter's potential dates were carefully scrutinized and often given some version of "the talk".*

* "Son, I expect you to treat my little girl with the respect she deserves. I will accept nothing less from you and I will be speaking to her when you bring her home, and by that I mean tonight, on time, and in the same pristine condition you now find her. Do you understand what I am telling you? Do you? Good. Now do me a favor, will you? Just hold this bolt assembly steady while I reinsert the firing pin."