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There's a big difference between situational depression and other forms of depression. I am facing what is becoming severe situational depression. Simply put, I would not be depressed if I was not in this situation!

I don't post often but FR is where I spend most of my day, so that's why I turn to you for help. If you think you can help then please PM me. Prayers are appreciated, but what I really need right now is good advice.

I need help brainstorming ways of how to change my situation. I don't know where to turn for that advice.

I don't lack coping skills. I'm not mentally unhealthy and in need of professional help (but I'm going to see if one has ideas). I'm actually very healthy in that respect. Nor do I lack faith. Faith is what keeps me going.

What I do lack is viable options.

I'm disabled and poor. Those two facts severely limit my options.

My problem, in a nutshell, is two-fold:

I'm getting very lonely. I can go weeks without seeing another human being.

And, I rely on others to get by.

- I get a whopping $800/mo from Social Security for medical retirement, plus food stamps. You can't live on that.

- I can't work, paid or not, mostly because...

- I can't do anything that requires reliability (that is planned or scheduled). Fentanyl patches & other meds control the pain pretty well but the side effects are disabling in and of themselves.

- This (and constant moving) made it hard to keep old friends, and affects my ability to get out and meet new ones.

- Apart from a mean, abusive dad who is not supportive at all, I have no family.

- I'm not physically strong enough to raise children, so no kids. Wish I could.

- I can't have a roommate here.

- I can't afford to move.

Considering this, how can I relieve my loneliness? But there's a bit more to it than that.

I have an ex-husband who pays my rent, heat, car, phone, internet, and most importantly, my pets that I love with all my heart; my only family. Sounds great, eh?

He is not court-ordered to help me though, and his "generosity" comes at a price, a price I'm not willing to pay anymore. I can't take it anymore. It's not worth it!

The loneliness (plus grief from the ex on top of everything else) is too much for me. Something has to give, but I'm afraid of losing what's most important to me in the process.

If I stay here (courtesy of the ex), continuing the way things are, nothing will change. That is NOT an acceptable option.

If I leave my ex then I know I'll at least lose my car, and have to live in subsidized housing ("the ghetto"), no pets allowed.

I don't see what options I have other than exchanging one depressing situation for another. I don't want to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire.

I've had my dogs for 5 years and my cat for 12. They are important to me!

Ideally I'd like to rent a decent, safe house out here in the country that doesn't require a deposit and is ok with pets, ok with me having a roommate (who is also ok with me, pets, etc.), and ok with me gardening. And ok setting up the contract with my out-of-state ex.

Then I'd have my pets and my country and be able to cook for my roommate, and only have to deal with grief from the ex. With ex-money and just a little help from a roommate I can afford the rent, but I can't find such a place, and I don't think the chances are very good either, meaning I'll have to give up something.

Give up what? One of my pets? Rural life? Personal safety? Car? Financial help?

How do I choose?

Despite everything, I have much to offer. I can't do anything for anyone though when I'm so alone and isolated. And I miss cooking.

(I'd like to buy a house so that I have some stability in my life, and my ex agreed to pay for it, but again, no downpayment. I qualify for rural, no-downpayment gov. mortgages but, get this - they don't allow roommates!)

“I’m disabled and poor. Those two facts severely limit my options.”

Remember that being poor is a state of mind, being broke is an indicator of a current economic situation.

I know it sounds very simplified, but I would suggest that you change your state of mind. If you can, listen to some Dave Ramsey webcasts and try reading some of the books on his recommended reading list. You will find that his advice stretches beyond finances very often and that listening to him is great for your soul.

It will be a process, but one that is very worth undertaking. You can find Dave’s archives and book list at www.daveramsey.com

I don’t mean to post and run, but I will be away from my computer until late next week. I did want to put the bug in your ear tho’. My prayers will be with you.

This may be considered flip...but I’m serious, there are many good suggestions here and I would add this for anyone susceptible to depression...Stop watching GLEN BECK!

After I lost my job and subsequently my house, my family and my dog, I had a heart attack and then a minor stroke. At my age I could not rebound easily. Having lost everything that mattered to me, I started from scratch, living in a shelter then a room. I have a limp and drool a little bit. I kept my pride and charity or disability is not an option.

I started “networking” at a library, having met some senior folks seeking a tutor who would come to the retirement community and I make a couple bucks teaching computer skills to the elderly than can afford it and don’t mind an old “gimp”.

Every day I get myself to the library where I search the internet for possibilities/opportunities.

You seem intelligent and to have carefully thought out your options.

Starting over is a bitch but it can be done.

I wish you fortitude and God’s speed.

After I lost my job and subsequently my house, my family and my dog, I had a heart attack and then a minor stroke. At my age I could not rebound easily. Having lost everything that mattered to me, I started from scratch, living in a shelter then a room. I have a limp and drool a little bit. I kept my pride and charity or disability is not an option.

I started “networking” at a library, having met some senior folks seeking a tutor who would come to the retirement community and I make a couple bucks teaching computer skills to the elderly than can afford it and don’t mind an old “gimp”.

Every day I get myself to the library where I search the internet for possibilities/opportunities.

You seem intelligent and to have carefully thought out your options.

Starting over is a bitch but it can be done.

I wish you fortitude and God’s speed.

I have to echo lowbridge’s advice—if you have to give up one of those items on your list, rural life seems like the best one. I realize it’s tough giving that up, but in the situation you’re in, it seems like a more urban (or suburban) environment would help in many ways.

I live in what you might call a midtown area (not downtown, but not out in the suburbs) and there are a coffee shop, grocery store, drugstore, two parks and a library all within comfortable walking distance (not to mention both my doctor’s and dentist’s offices). You might find you don’t even need the car if you could find a good location. (I take great comfort in knowing that if I couldn’t drive or had to give up my car, I could still get to the places I need to.)

I’d also echo the advice about taking 5HTP. I bought it at Costco (pretty much on a whim, it was on sale) and it’s made a world of difference in my mood.

Good luck and hang in there!

Prayers your way... I know many people that are lonely like you and just a little time does them wonders. Friends that don't care if their hair is combed perfect, friends that understand that there is bad days.

Just know that you are not alone, there is a friend out there somewhere.

I want to let you know that you have my greatest sympathy. I m going to share an essay that i found on internet. Hope that helps.
"Jamariss’ Essay
For days I would sit down in front of my computer and think about what I should write about for this scholarship essay. I thought about writing something with reference to my last name and the information I found out about my family and where it came from. I also thought about writing an essay comparing me to someone famous or important to history. I have decided to write about one of the most important events in my life that has shaped who I am today. Every year I participate in the Diabetes walk with Women of Essence, but last year was different. We had a young lady named Zina come with us; she is in a wheelchair so she uses access-a ride to get around. Access-a ride was scheduled to pick her up at the end of the walk but it never came. As a group prided on sisterhood, we decided we were not just going to leave her there. We walked for about one hour and a half looking for a train station that was wheelchair accessible but still did not find one. Eventually we came to the conclusion that we were going to carry her down the stairs for the next train station we got to. We completely underestimated how hard that was going to be. I volunteered to carry Zina down the stairs and the other twelve or so girls struggled to carry the wheelchair down the stairs. You’ll be amazed to see how many people shoved past a bunch of teenage females struggling and not to offer any help. We had to do this over and over again about three times before we got to the platform. When we did get to the platform everyone was in tears, including me because we could not believe that we did this process four times and was only offered help one time. The only person who was not crying was Zina. Everyone was asking why are are you so calm, and she turns around and said “It’s life, if every time it gets hard are you going to cry?!”. Her strength that day was remarkable, I don’t know how she did it but ever since that day she has been Zina my warrior princess. To me the most beautiful possession a person can have is strength. That only thing can get you through struggle after struggle. My mother is another person I know who possesses this quality of a single mother of three who I never saw cry and never let us know when things were going wrong. From these two people I have learned to be strong as well."