PENCIL NECK GEEK
(Pete Cicero / Martin Margulies)
Freddie Blassie
Back when I was a kid, life was going swell.
Till something happened, blew every thing to hell.
That night my daddy stumbled in, all pale and weak,
Said “A woman up the block just gave birth to a geek.”
Mom said, “Sell it to the circus, what the heck.”
Dad said, “Nope, this one’s a pencil neck.
And if there’s one thing lower than a side show freak,
It’s a grit eatin’, scum suckin’, pencil neck geek.”
You see if you take a pencil that won’t hold lead,
Looks like a pipe cleaner attached to a head,
Add a buggy whip body with a brain that leaks,
You got yourself a grit eatin’, pencil neck geek.
(chorus)
Pencil neck geek, grit eatin’ freak,
scum suckin’, pea head with a lousy physique.
He’s a one man, no gut, loosing streak.
Nothin’ but a pencil neck geek.
Soon the geeks were poppin’ up all over town.
You couldn’t hardly sneeze without knockin’ one down.
After a nice juicy steak, if you need a toothpick,
Just reach for a geek, they’ll do the trick.
One day we cut one up for fish bait.
Learned our lesson just a little bit late.
Soon as the geek hit the drink, the water turned red.
Next day, sure enough, all the fish were dead.
chorus
Most any night you know where I can be found.
Yeah, stomping some geek’s head into the ground.
So keep the faith ‘cause in Blassie you can trust,
I won’t give up ‘til the last geek bites the dust.
chorus
They say, “these geeks come a dime a dozen.”
I’m lookin’ for the guy who’s supplin’ the dimes.
Its gonna be real hard times for all of these
grit eatin’,
scum suckin’,
boot lickin’,
drop kickin’,
gut grindin’,
nail bitin’,
glue sniffin’,
scab pickin’,
butt scratchin’,
egg hatchin’,
sleezy,
smelly,
pepper bellied,
dirty, lousy, rotten, stinkin’, freaks.
Nothing but a pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek
DO THE CRUSHER
Raid!
Do the hammer lock! a-Do the hammer lock!
Raid! Do the hammer lock, you turkey necks!
Yeah, do the hammer lock! a-Do the hammer lock!
Everybody’s doing it
Raid!
Do the eye gouge! Yeah, do the eye gouge!
Raid! Do the eye gouge, you turkey necks!
Yeah, do the eye gouge! a-Do the eye gouge!
Everybody’s doing it
Raid!
Okay, you turkey necks, gather ‘round!
Raid! Let me show you how to do the Crusher
If you don’t learn it now, I’m gonna get you in the ring
Raid!
Okay, you take your fist and put it on your waist
And if you don’t, you’re gonna be a disgrace
And then you squeeze your partner’s head just below the face
Raid!
Do the Crusher! Do the Crusher!
Raid! Do the Crusher, you turkey necks!
Yeah, do the Crusher! a-Do the Crusher!
Everybody do it now!
Raid!
Cow Patty
From the badlands came the killer
He lived by the knife and the gun
He’d cut ya just for standin’
Shoot ya if ya tried to run
He was as big as a tree and did as he pleased
And everthing he did was bad
They said if ya was to kill him
You’d only make him mad
From the goodlands come the cowgirl
Patty was her name
She was hot on the trail of that killer
On a moped she called Flame
Cause the killer had killed her daddy
For spittin’ in the road
And you only had to kill her daddy once
To get that gal PO’d
(Chorus)
Yippee yay a Cow Patty
Yippee yay a Cow Patty
She rode in to town to find the man who killed her daddy
Yippee yay a Cow Patty
Killer hit town at day break
Ate the door off the local saloon
He started to drink
You could tell ne was thinkin’ they’ll be a showdown soon
Patty hit town in a cloud of dust
Old Flame was buzzin’ like a saw
And the whole town got as quiet as a church
When the killer stepped out for the draw
Forty shots rang out forty people fell
Patty and the killer missed each other
But they shot that town to hell
(Chorus)
Killer took a step toward Patty
Said it’s time I gunned you down
But he slipped in somethin’ that was layin in the street
And was shot fore he hit the ground
Yes the killer slipped
And it cost him his life
And Patty said as she roared out of town
You gotta watch your step
When you know the chips are down
(Chorus)