They called him “Irving” - the 142nd fastest gun...in the West!
I confess I detested his show. :)
Once dad retired and moved stateside, I was rarely able to find a station carrying him. Listened for a while to a station out of Salt Lake.
I’m looking over
My dead dog Rover
Whom I hit with
the power mower
One leg is missing
the other is gone
the third leg is scattered
all over the lawn
No need explaining
the one leg remaining
is spinning on the car port door
I’m looking over
my dead dog Rover
Whom I hit with the power mower
(I think that’s right)
PENCIL NECK GEEK
(Pete Cicero / Martin Margulies)
Freddie Blassie
Back when I was a kid, life was going swell.
Till something happened, blew every thing to hell.
That night my daddy stumbled in, all pale and weak,
Said “A woman up the block just gave birth to a geek.”
Mom said, “Sell it to the circus, what the heck.”
Dad said, “Nope, this one’s a pencil neck.
And if there’s one thing lower than a side show freak,
It’s a grit eatin’, scum suckin’, pencil neck geek.”
You see if you take a pencil that won’t hold lead,
Looks like a pipe cleaner attached to a head,
Add a buggy whip body with a brain that leaks,
You got yourself a grit eatin’, pencil neck geek.
(chorus)
Pencil neck geek, grit eatin’ freak,
scum suckin’, pea head with a lousy physique.
He’s a one man, no gut, loosing streak.
Nothin’ but a pencil neck geek.
Soon the geeks were poppin’ up all over town.
You couldn’t hardly sneeze without knockin’ one down.
After a nice juicy steak, if you need a toothpick,
Just reach for a geek, they’ll do the trick.
One day we cut one up for fish bait.
Learned our lesson just a little bit late.
Soon as the geek hit the drink, the water turned red.
Next day, sure enough, all the fish were dead.
chorus
Most any night you know where I can be found.
Yeah, stomping some geek’s head into the ground.
So keep the faith ‘cause in Blassie you can trust,
I won’t give up ‘til the last geek bites the dust.
chorus
They say, “these geeks come a dime a dozen.”
I’m lookin’ for the guy who’s supplin’ the dimes.
Its gonna be real hard times for all of these
grit eatin’,
scum suckin’,
boot lickin’,
drop kickin’,
gut grindin’,
nail bitin’,
glue sniffin’,
scab pickin’,
butt scratchin’,
egg hatchin’,
sleezy,
smelly,
pepper bellied,
dirty, lousy, rotten, stinkin’, freaks.
Nothing but a pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek
No more Screamin’ Jay Hawkins?
End of an era.
JUNK FOOD JUNKIE - LARRY GROCE
You know I love that organic cooking
I always ask for more
And they call me Mr. Natural
On down to the health food store
I only eat good sea salt
White sugar don’t touch my lips
And my friends is always
Begging me to take them
On macrobiotic trips
Yes, they are
Oh, but at night I take out my strongbox
That I keep under lock and key
And I take it off to my closet
Where nobody else can see
I open that door so slowly
Take a peek up north and south
Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie
And I pop it in my mouth
Yeah, in the daytime I’m Mr. Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I’m a junk food junkie
Good Lord, have pity on me
Well, at lunchtime
You can always find me
At the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar
Just sucking on my plain white yogurt
From my hand thrown pottery jar
And sippin’ a little hand pressed cider
With a carrot stick for dessert
And wiping my face
In a natural way
On the sleeve of my peasant shirt
Oh, yeah
Ah, but when that clock strikes midnight
And I’m all by myself
I work that combination
On my secret hideaway shelf
And I pull out some Fritos corn chips
Dr. Pepper and an Ole Moon Pie
Then I sit back in glorious expectation
Of a genuine junk food high
Oh yeah, in the daytime I’m Mr. Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I’m a junk food junkie
Good Lord, have pity on me
My friends down at the commune
They think I’m pretty neat
Oh, I don’t know nothing about arts and crafts
But I give ‘em all something to eat
I’m a friend to old Euell Gibbons
And I only eat homegrown spice
I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn
Filled up with my brown rice
Yes, I do
Oh, but folks lately I have been spotted
With a Big Mac on my breath
Stumbling into a Colonel Sanders
With a face as white as death
I’m afraid someday they’ll find me
Just stretched out on my bed
With a handful of Pringles Potato Chips
And a Ding Dong by my head
In the daytime I’m Mr. Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I’m a junk food junkie
Good Lord, have pity on me
If you wanted weird, whacky obscure, Dr. Demento was one of the few places to find it. I discovered Saturday Night Live about the same time as Dr. Demento, both by accident and was immediately hooked because nobody was doing anything like that. It was on at about 1:00 a.m. in our market which made it even that more strange and wonderful
Now weird, whacky and obscure are only a mouse click away, which in a way makes it much more mundane. The good doctor was killed by the internet.
They’ve come and taken him away, oh no.
Somehow I missed this article, I found it while searching to see if this one had been posted yet:
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gF1F_pO4aSoN0amGMLl-Um9QNkLwD9GLLHT80
Dr. Demento leaving radio for the Internet
By JOHN ROGERS (AP) – 1 day ago
I grew up with the good Dr and introduced him to my daughter. I so remember laying in bed on Sunday nights listening on transistor to him and followed by King Biscuit.
I still love Weird Al.
A major tragedy along with Larry King throwing in the towel. I am truly devastated.