“I feel more sober than I ever have been in my life. “
My impression after reading your post is, you are growing.
Growth means change.
I hesitate to advise a person with your history of alcoholism to just abandon a system (AA) that has apparently worked for him.
However, is it always the case that an alcoholic has to go to 4 meetings a week, have a sponsor, etc., or is their normally a time when that ends?
The advice above that says “move” may or may not be practical. Certainly, if your life depends upon it, move, whether that is practical or not.
Is there perhaps an online AA type forum where you can get support that doesn’t involve politics, or that involves more conservative politics?
It seems to me that what you are doing is no longer working, because it is causing you a lot of anxiety and stress. That is not what a sponsor or an AA meeting is supposed to be about! It does not seem to be your fault.
My first reaction would be to wear conservative t-shirts to meetings and stuff, just to get in their face, but truly, that will probably not help your sobriety along. They are the ones breaking the rules about politics.
I also think your insight about the folks at your meeting ascribing to feel-good liberal statements instead of actual d0-good conservative action is correct. That is human nature. It is easier to salve your conscience talking about taking down the Man than it is to work hard and provide for your own.
Are there any AA FReepers who can sponsor zzeeman out there? If anyone reading this is a Friend of Bill, or, knows a good Friend of Bill who can step up, send him a private message!
IMO, you are very correct. I have not taken any of this lightly and am treading very cautiously. Ever couple of weeks I get to travel out to a more rural part of the state and usually get to take in a meeting out there with a long-time friend. (The funny thing is that he has the opposite take: he is a bit left-leaning (I am working on him feverishly!) and is sometimes bothered by the "right wing" politics that he claims leak into the meetings that he attends!)
However, is it always the case that an alcoholic has to go to 4 meetings a week, have a sponsor, etc., or is their normally a time when that ends?
Let me take these one by one:
1. It is not "strictly" defined. In almost all cases new people are advised to go to at least 90 meetings in their first 90 days. A lot of people may continue close to that pace for a year or so. Then some cut back a bit. My former sponsor was one of those "a meeting everyday" types and a lot of people that go to the meeting I attended 3 or 4 days a week, also attended an evening meeting everyday as well, some of them have been going to 2 meetings a day for decades. In most groups they will stress as many meetings per week as possible. I was sort of an outlier in my group since I would only attend a few a week.
2. Sponsorship is recommended ASAP and continues forever. A person may change sponsors from time to time, depending on circumstances, but some have the same one for decades.
3. No, it never ends. An AA member is encouraged to continue for the rest of their lives. In fact, very often the stated or subtle message is that you are sure to drink if you ever stop going to meetings, etc.
The advice above that says “move” may or may not be practical. Certainly, if your life depends upon it, move, whether that is practical or not.
There are a lot of other issues that would be solved by a geographic move, one day we hope to be able to do just that, but it won't be to find better meetings.
Is there perhaps an online AA type forum where you can get support that doesn’t involve politics, or that involves more conservative politics?
Politics or any other outside issues (i.e., that are beyond the scope of finding and maintaining sobriety) are never supposed to be a part of any AA environment. It is just that human nature leads people astray, and AA certainly isn't the only place that things like that happen!
It seems to me that what you are doing is no longer working, because it is causing you a lot of anxiety and stress. That is not what a sponsor or an AA meeting is supposed to be about! It does not seem to be your fault.
Yes you are correct, that is why I don't go to that meeting any longer. I started to get very edgy on my way to that meeting for weeks, and would sit there feeling like I was in a room with Martians or something. And why I went through a series of steps to see if I could maintain my relationship with my prior sponsor. Had he never crossed the line originally (starting in with all that political crap way before the election, and continuing it all along), none of this would have ever come up with him. I had known him for years before the obama-mania started and I had no clue as to what his politics were, and I didn't really care to find out! Because of the long lasting (and very beneficial for the most part), I probably would have been willing to stay with this guy if he did 2 things: 1. Agree to sit down and at least let me give him so info and data so that he could get his eyes opened up a bit. and 2. Agreed to keep any political talk completely out of our sponsor-sponsee relationship. But that last conversation that we had, where he kept repeating all of that AA party line stuff about "not wanting to re-join the debating society" and "that his best thinking got him there...." and so on, really sealed the deal. There is no way that I could ever deal with a person that I now have so little respect for.
I am hoping that I will soon find a Conservative man in AA that I can ask to be my sponsor, I am sure that one will turn up at some point!
[ALL:
I realize that using the word "Distress" in this thread title was a mistake, I'm sorry for that. I was feeling that I was in "distress" after that phone call (leaving a sponsor after many years is always tough), especially since I was so "shocked" at the pap and pabulum that this guy had as his only response. But it wasn't something that I wouldn't get over rather quickly, I sort of panicked in the sense of using that word in the title!
Also, I had no idea that so many people would reply, and with such useful and helpful thoughts and concern. I appreciate it very much and am trying to work my way through the thread as quickly as I can. I am trying to enjoy some time with the family over this holiday weekend, and get caught up on some overdue chores as well. So I am not at the computer very much over the past few days. As I have more time I will continue to read and respond, and thanks to all that took the time to read and respond here, and have a very nice weekend as we remember those that gave their all in defense of our freedom and liberty tomorrow! God bless them all!]