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But can't a person be a conservative, pro life and atheist ? and still love their country just as much as I do ? ... How many out there are like my wife ?

It is interesting, to say the least, that you think your wife could be a demographic of one.

I am a conservative, albeit with some libertarian leanings, love my country, am a veteran of the US Navy, believe abortion is another word for murder, and am a small "a" atheist. That is to say, I am not out there trying to convert anyone to Celebrity Atheism, it's just that I have seen some of the worst humanity has to offer its fellows, both as a sailor and as a deputy in law enforcement, and if there is a God, He is not the mover and shaker He was in the Old Testament, so Nietzsche was right. God is dead, and what Nietzsche feared most has come to pass--nothing compelling to serve to bolster human morality ever replaced Him. The Supermen who arrived had to be killed by random Communist soldiers and Allied Western Forces. The hippie boomers and their worship of the pill were the wake.

I find the conservative schism between Mormons and mainline Christians a much more dynamic problem here than that posed by the few atheist conservatives who dare to be completely different in our corner of the Big Tent.

When one boils it right down, Mormons and other Christians are really arguing about whose man made tales have more of the "ring of truth" about them. It's totally silly. I harbor no illusions that we are all anything more than allies of convenience against the forces of true evil, a.k.a. liberals and leftists, but that will have to be enough.