“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
— Mark Twain
Is that attributed?
I seem to recall that there are many false quotations attributed to Mark Twain as well as George Carlin and others.
“It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.”
- Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar
“Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.”
- What Is Man?
Many more here...
http://www.twainquotes.com/C.html