If I get to choose it would be one of the female half naked cheerleaders.
But you would have to be a really dense blond/brunette half naked cheerleader to choose a screen name like “wbill.”
I do admit I forgot the Goonies vs. Michael Myers plot theme.
Like the leader-type whose incredibly restrictive white male (Army/Marine/Minister) father - in between (beating/abusing/molesting) them - taught them how to shoot. Anything. From a .22 to a RPG. With perfect accuracy - unless it's better for the plot that they miss. And said weapon will always have the correct ammo, in exactly the correct amounts.
And the cars that conveniently don't start.
And the car keys that are always easy to find. Don't you always leave yours above the sun visor? OR the car keys that are impossibly hard to find, as well. "DAMN! I left them in the house, on the table, right next to the zombie axe-murderers! I hate it when that happens...."
I'm sure that there are plenty more points that I've missed. Something to do with "Why would a bunch of teenagers who - in real life - would have NOTHING to do with each other, wind up at a deserted farmhouse/camp/wilderness road, etc etc etc" But, I'll leave it to other FReepers to fill in the holes. :-)
Because everyone here just knows that the Civil War had nothing to do with slavery, that every cop is just a thug with a badge and gun, and the Catholic Church is at the root of every global conspiracy.
Really. I saw some movie-or-other with Tom Hanks on that last one. ;-) Hollywood wouldn't lie to me, would they?