Bartender: "Well, Mr. Drill, there's either beer in that there bottle or there isn't. Should I uncap it?"
I don't like the universe very much.
You mean: you don't like *this* universe very much. Somewhere, there's a universe where there really is beer in the #@$%ing bottle, Fershure.
See... that's why I get whiskey in a glass. No top to open, no questionable states of matter to consider. And the ice keeps it nice and chilled.