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Reminds me of an old Henny Youngman joke. There was an eccentric old man who's only companion was his pet duck. He took it everywhere with him. One afternoon he decided he wanted to go to a movie. When he went to buy two tickets, one for him and his duck, the cashier told him no pets allowed! Not one for giving up, he walked around the corner, unbuckled his pants and hid his feathered friend in them. He walked back to buy a ticket, went in and sat down, waiting for the show to begin.

No sooner had the lights gone out when the duct decided it couldn't breathe and it started squirming. Trying not to cause a scene the man unzipped his fly so the duck could stick its head out, get some air, and watch the movie too. Everything was fine until a steamy love scene, when all of a sudden, the lady sitting next to him hit her husband in the arm and whispered firmly "lets go!" Her husband, who was just starting to enjoy the movie, tried to ignored her but it didn't work. She hit him again harder and pointed in the darkness to the man's lap, saying "Look at that! We have to move now!" Still not wanting to be bothered the husband said "It's not like you've never seen one of those before." She replied, "I know, but this one is eating my popcorn!"