>>She is relatively small, so please no suggestions for .45s, .50 Desert Eagles, etc.<<
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Get a .45 before you get the “tiny” 9 mm Rohrbaugh. The latter is a cute and well made gun but will try to separate your hand from the rest of your body every time you pull the trigger.
Yeah, that’s the balance of size and power. The “noisy cricket” problem can be an issue.