about 4 years ago, she basically strangled/gasped/spamismed/groaned/screamed/pained to death. She was on Morphine to kill the pain. I sat there with her.............doctors departed.
Ok, so you’ve had some time.
Alright, this was not a pretty death. Yet I have found that God gives ALL things out of love, and there is love to be found even in THAT horrible time.
The love I would see out of that is:
1) You learned to appreciate YOUR health more. You learned to embrace YOUR life more.
2) You were THERE for your mother. You had the chance to SHOW your love for her with ACTION.
3) Her life was undoubtedly one of service. She served others and made a difference. She had YOU and you serve others for the betterment of our condition, do you not? You leave a footprint on the beach of humanity, do you not?
Even ugliness is turned for the good if we stop and look for the messages. I would not have broached this topic if the pain was fresh, but after four years, its time to consider other ways of thinking.
One thing I have discovered, is that if I feel pain or stress about something, I am probably believing something that is not true.
Look for the lack of comfort you are feeling about this, and ask yourself what untruth you are believing. Maybe it is that she should not have died? Maybe it is that death is not painful? Who knows. Look in your own heart.
Byron Katie. Look for her on the intertubes. She talks about something called The Work. Read that, if you do not believe in a conscious God.
I myself do not believe in a conscious God, or at least OUR USUAL CONCEPTION of a conscious God. I believe the Creator IS the Creation, and that our ability to grasp the Mind of God is folly, for God is ALL consciousness and that He CANNOT be grasped by our tiny little 10 or so pound brains.
You say you do not believe in God. I did not either, until I stopped and saw the many millions of ‘coincidences’ that God, in His non-human-shaped consciousness put into my life.
It cannot be that there is no God. This is what I concluded. All my life has operated to make me more aware of what I truly am.
And what I truly am, is not my mind, and it is not my body, and it is not my fleeting emotions. All I truly am is the force of Love, and that force of Love is all that God is made out of, too.
Peace and joy to you, friend. I hope some of this made sense.
I hope you appreciated me taking my Jokers mask off for a second. :)
I nursed both my father and mother in their terminal stages of cancer within my home...When mothers pain meds didn't work, I called the doctor and got her something that would...
I having been a nurse and quit to care for my mother had a little more knowledge than most having worked much on the Cancer floor of the hospital...Some people do have horrific deaths, but not all...For me the worse deaths I have seen have been terminal alcholic's....worse than some cancer patients..
But for some, stopping the pain is an art form from the doctor..It took my mother 6 weeks to pass and they were not pretty, but were relatively pain free. Not knowing about your mothers death, I do know that it is never easy having to sit by and you can do nothing for someone you love...
You age when this happened is also relevant...
My fathers passing on the farm was rather quick, again we went out of our way calling the doctor to get the right medication....Both slipped into coma before death.
In this day and age I see no reason for someone to die in bad pain...You have my sympathy..