Hilarious but extremely accurate Avatar review (salty language warning)

BigEmpire.com ^ | the Filthy Critic

[Thirteen]

Yes, I have seen it. As eye candy, the cgi was fairly impressive but the characterizations and story itself were trite and weak. If not for the violence and political moralizing, I would guess the movie was aimed at 10-year-olds. If Cameron was trying for subliminal with his message, he failed miserably.

[Thirteen]

Or the Harry Potter fan-atics. LOL!

[VanDeKoik]

“Beyond ripping off its plot from a cartoon for little girls, there’s a bunch of other shit I thought sucked the cat’s tits about Avatar. First is its patronizing vision of the indigenous people. It’s like Cameron was channeling some long-haired asshole who sells turquoise roadside near Sedona. The movie treats the natives as simpletons, idiot savants full of pure goodness and new-agey magical powers, the same way guilt-ridden white people of limited intelligence think of American Indians. Cameron gives them the ability to see into the hearts of others. As far as I know, the only people who believe nonsense like that are folks with shit to hide. They’re the ones who worry good people can see right through them.”

The Filthy Critic can certainly cut to the heart of it!

Glad to see he’s still doing reviews.

[Reeses]

Some aspiring writer should re-dub and re-splice the movie into something worth seeing. There are amateur remixes of songs all the time, so why not movies? I couldn't possibly sit passively for 3 hours to get through this movie.

[TalonDJ]

Unobtainium is a joke. An inside joke for engineers laughing at people that can't figure out that some things can't be built. You know, like the morons that ask why a whole plane is not made of whatever the 'black box' is made out of. It is the ultimate cop-out for a writer to unimaginative to come up with something for the plot. "I need this thing to be invulnerable. I know, magic! No this is sci fi... unobtainium!" Adamantium is similarly stupid but at least it requires more than a 2nd grade vocabulary to spot how big the handwaving is. Might as well call it ‘strong-ium’.

[colinhester]

Never heard of the Filthy Critic before. Just checked out the web site. What a great read!!! Thanks for pointing this out.....C

[Thirteen]

Glad to point out good sites/writers when I find them. He’s done a lot of reviews over the years and if you haven’t checked out his past reviews, there’s an archive section for hours and hours of fun reading: http://www.bigempire.com/filthy/archive.html

[Stoutcat]

Criminy! Just call it wonderflonium and be done with it! Just don't bounce it for heaven's sake!

[Paul Ross]

It is hilarious. He should do a cleaned-up version for general distribution

[Hot Tabasco]

Yes, I have seen it.

Did they give you 3-D glasses?