Posted on 12/03/2009 7:07:13 PM PST by KevinDavis
In anticipation of Syfy's upcoming Battlestar Galactica prequel series Caprica, QuantumMechanix is selling this beautiful "Evolution of the Cylon" poster, tracking the rise from humble toaster to toothsome Six.
(Excerpt) Read more at scifiwire.com ...
L O L !
But they have never found the missing link!
God created cylons in his image.
RED DWARF Season IV Episode 4, “White Hole”
1 Toaster View.
The screen hums and crackles with white noise, which clears to a computer display:
BOOT UP SEQUENCE INITIATED
Clears to display:
VISUAL SYSTEM CCD 517.3
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE SYSTEM K177
MACHINE IDENT: TALKIE TOASTER ,,=============
MANUFACTURER: TAIWAN (( CRAPOLA INC.
RECOMMENDED RETAIL PRICE: ``=============
$#19.99 PLUS TAX
Clears to display:
AURAL SYSTEM: ON-LINE
This vanishes, to be replaced with a view of KRYTEN; it is heavily biased toward the chin, as though shot from beneath, and through a yellow filter. As we watch, the yellow fades, to be replaced by colours.
KRYTEN: Hello? Can you hear me? Oh, no, of course not: I haven’t engaged your verbal systems.
He presses some buttons on an off-screen keyboard.
LISTER: (From offscreen) Kryten.
2 Int. Science room.
LISTER approaches KRYTEN.
LISTER: Kryten, what you doing, man?
KRYTEN: I’ve just repaired the toaster, Sir. Well, I’ve nearly repaired the toaster.
LISTER: Oh NO, man! Dismantle him! You don’t know what the little bleeder’s like!
KRYTEN: Well, I’ve read all the documentation, Sir. He’s simply a talking alarm clock who provides his owner with early morning toast and light conversation.
LISTER: Not this one. This one’s mental!
KRYTEN: Sir?
LISTER: He’s defective. He wants everyone to eat toast ALL OF THE TIME. He’s obsessed with it. And if you don’t want to eat, like, four hundreds rounds of toast EVERY HOUR, he throws a major wobbly. That’s what caused the accident in the first place.
KRYTEN: What accident?
LISTER: The accident involving me, the toaster, the waste disposal and the fourteen pound lump-hammer.
KRYTEN: That explains why he was down in the garbage hold in three thousand separate pieces.
LISTER: Another thing. He always says “Howdy doodly do.” Drives you spare. I mean, what the smeg does “Howdy doodly do” mean?
KRYTEN: Well, just trust me, Sir. My motives will become clear.
He presses some more buttons on the keyboard. The TOASTER lights up and speaks. Its bread-lowering lever moves up and down as it speaks with its mid-Atlantic accent in an impossibly cheerful tone:
TOASTER: Howdy doodly do! How’s it going? I’m Talkie — Talkie Toaster, your chirpy breakfast companion. Talkie’s the name, toasting’s the game. Anyone like any toast?
LISTER: Look, _I_ don’t want any toast, and _he_ (indicating KRYTEN) doesn’t want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever. NO TOAST.
TOASTER: How ‘bout a muffin?
LISTER: OR muffins! OR muffins! We don’t LIKE muffins around here! We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and DEFINITELY no smegging flapjacks!
TOASTER: Aah, so you’re a waffle man!
LISTER: (to KRYTEN) See? You see what he’s like? He winds me up, man. There’s no reasoning with him.
KRYTEN: If you’ll allow me, Sir, as one mechanical to another. He’ll understand me. (Addressing the TOASTER as one would address an errant child) Now. Now, you listen here. You will not offer ANY grilled bread products to ANY member of the crew. If you do, you will be on the receiving end of a very large polo mallet.
TOASTER: Can I ask just one question?
KRYTEN: Of course.
TOASTER: Would anyone like any toast?
KRYTEN: Didn’t you HEAR what I just said?
TOASTER: Yes, but I thought you might have changed your mind in the meantime.
LISTER: You see? You see what he’s like?
KRYTEN: (Exasperated) We haven’t changed our mind!
LISTER: NO TOAST!
TOASTER: But I am a toaster. It is my /raison d’etre/. I toast, therefore I am. If you don’t want any toast, why did you repair me?
You think they’d put an original series cylon in there...
You think they’d put an original series cylon in there...
Ahhh yes... those were cool, too. But, that was a different series, and so I'm sure they don't want to call attention to an older series. :-)
BUT, remember, when you buy your toaster and it is advertised as a "smart toaster".... well... you better watch out... LOL...
You know what Charles Darwin said... "Toasters evolve too!"... :-)
The one in the middle is an original series. (3rd from the right)
I'm normally not into blondes, but #6 on BG ... grrrrr. From the pilot mini-series and throughout the seasons she made my ears sweat. She was smokin' hawt.
No, that is the new series version of older model Cylons. Recognizably close, but not the same thing.
This poster also highlights one of the big issues I have with the series. You have this logical progression to bigger and badder, then suddenly a hot blonde. Doesn’t make any sense at all.
And wouldn’t Cylons actually be an example of intelligent design? It isn’t like they progressed from stage to stage by random manufacturing accidents.
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